The countdown...

So now that Christmas has come and gone, the wedding day ticker has begun in my head. 136 days until I get to stand on a dock in Cozumel and join my life to Bobby's forever.

This morning I started looking over checklists and trying to figure out what's left to do (and what money is left to spend)! All through the Christmas season people at parties would ask me how the wedding planning was going. My standard replay was, "I have my groom, my dress, and my plane tickets... That's all I really need, right?" HA! There's still so much left to do!

Let's see... I'm putting off getting my dress altered until REALLY close to the wedding because I've been losing weight and I don't intend to stop losing anytime soon. I've also got to find shoes and accessories.

We need to get my girls into the shop and get their dresses ordered.We need to get Bobby and his best man (if he would hurry up and ASK him to be his best man) into a Men's Warehouse or somewhere like that to pick out something nice (but not a tux!) for them to wear.

We have to find a photographer that is willing to work for free, or for the trade of a cheap place to stay in Coz.

We have to finalize the food and cake preparations.

We have to figure out the beauty situation. Go to a fancy salon at one of the resorts? Go to a local salon? 

Bobby has promised to put together a music list for the wedding and reception. I've gotta check in with him about that. Oh, we also need to take a dance lesson or two.

I have to write some vows that are both meaningful and fun. 

Ummmm.... What else? Am I forgetting anything?

Along with the wedding prep, I also find myself daydreaming (and planning) about babies. Uh oh. ;)

Two! Count em, TWO!!

This Friday I have a wedding to go to. I'm excited about the wedding but I've been freaking out because I have NOTHING nice enough to wear to an evening wedding. I borrowed a few dresses from my mom, one I was pretty sure would fit (snuggly) and one that I thought was going to depress me. But guess what!?!? Not only did it not depress me, it looked GOOD on me! It is TWO dress sizes smaller than I was when I started working out!

So I headed over to Macy's and rewarded myself with some sexy shoes to go with the dress!

As a side note, I put on some slacks on my way to Macy's because I needed to wash all of my blue jeans... I think their sizing must be some quirk of their brand - but they are size NINES and that made me feel super awesome! 

Size matters

I know this girl (let's call her Sherry)... As long as I've known her she has been my size or bigger. But she carries herself completely differently than I do. With an amazing confidence that I can't match on my best days. Admittedly she is an above-average looking girl (in fact a plus size model at one point) - but I just don't understand it! I see pictures of her and I think, "She's way bigger than me!" and then I think, "She still looks so pretty!". (I have to say that Sherry and I have not been what I'd call "friends" for several years, so the first thought is always a little smug, and the second is a bit begrudging.)

I've been on the hefty side of healthy my entire adult life. At times I've just given up and let myself go. At other times (like now) I've put a lot of effort towards slimming myself down.

Either way I always sort of end up feeling like the "fat friend", or I talk myself out of a cute little outfit because I feel like a silly fat girl just fooling herself. That's not to say I completely lack confidence. I feel at least a little cute a lot of the time.  But... I want to know how a girl like Sherry (who is probably 5 or 6 sizes bigger than me at this point) can still walk around like she expects to be the prettiest girl in the room. And how I can still feel envious of her when I look at her (because of her confidence).

Lately I am working my butt off (hopefully literally) at the gym. Partly this is to slim myself down, and partly it is because it makes me feel healthy and good. As a side effect it seems to give me a boost in confidence (even when I haven't seen any actual physical changes).  I guess I will never be that uber-confident girl that walks around waiting for doors to be opened for her and drinks to be bought... But I am hoping to be the healthy girl that feels good about herself - and can buy that cute little outfit and go out feeling confident and sexy! 

A bittersweet goodbye

I know I've posted about our doggy woes before.

When we moved into our new home, we adopted another dog. A very sweet boy named Ledger. For a month or so everything was perfect - the boys got along wonderfully and the house was coming along really well. Then one day out of the blue the dogs started fighting. I mean REALLY fighting. It was scary and awful.

The next few weeks were really hard. We separated the dogs completely, and spent a TON of money on fixing the situation. After the first ($700) thing didn't work, we met with a trainer and after lots of hard work, got things back on track. Or so we thought.

This past weekend my mom and I discussed the idea of her adopting a dog. She has room in her life for one, and we thought it would be nice for her to have a great companion. (I am starting to think everyone should have some doggy love in their lives!) While we were talking about it we said several times that Mom needed a dog like Ledger, sweet and snuggly, and super eager to please.


Without rehashing my entire horrible day yesterday, I will just say that the dogs started fighting again. I called my mom sobbing and she wondered aloud if she should adopt Ledger.

I thought on it (and cried on it) pretty much all day. I picked my best girl's brain and got the answer I sort of expected. Ledger IS the perfect dog for my mom. PERFECT. Maybe he came into our lives because my mom needed him.

It was hard for me to wrap my brain around because I love Ledger, and really felt like he was my dog.

I waited until Bobby got home to talk to him about it - assuming that even suggesting that my mom take Ledger would start a huge fight.


When Bobby came home he brought Hurley with him. As soon as they walked in the door Ledger started trembling. It really broke my heart, and it was the last sign I needed to make up my mind - it would not be fair to keep Ledger in a home where he was afraid. I tentatively broached the subject with Bobby (through tears and hiccups) and Bobby was immediately on board. He felt the same way I did - Ledger deserves better than to keep getting hurt and live in fear. And "Miz" would be great for him.

Bobby wanted to pull the band-aid off quickly, so we gathered Ledgie's things and took him to my Mom's.

My mom is an amazing parent (I should know) and she's going to be so good for Ledger. This transition is difficult for all of us, but I know in my heart that it was the best decision.

Although I am sad and missing him terribly, I have this great picture in my head of my mom coming home to this sweet little ray of sunshine everyday, and I can imagine how much better her life will be for having him in it. 

My first 5 k!

Yesterday I did my first ever 5k! It was the Change of Pace Foundation's Oktobrewfest 5k run/walk. I didn't go very fast, but dangit I finished! :-D

 This is me crossing the finish line! I won't post my time, but I will say that the next time I do this, I intend to beat it!

 This is me right after I finished. I was pretty happy to be done!

 

And this is me enjoying my free beer in my commemorative glass! Knowing this was waiting for me at the finish line helped a lot!

Another 48

For lack of bloggish inspiration lately - I've decided to post one of these fun little survey doo-dahs. I never know who's reading my blog so I won't call anybody out on doing it too... But you should! It's fun! :)



1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My middle name Damascus, was the heroine in a trashy romance novel my mom was reading when she was pregnant

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? This afternoon -  it's been a rough week!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I think my handwriting is atrocious, but it's all I've got so what are you gonna do?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? bacon

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No kids yet, but two very spoiled dogs.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Actually I usually get along best with people who are (ALSO) bossy know-it-alls who talk a lot... So yeah, I would probably get a long swimmingly with myself!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Maybe sometimes

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yup

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Eh... I don't see the point of jumping off of a perfectly good bridge.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I'm super fond of multi-grain cheerios lately

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? If it were socially acceptable I would never even wear shoes. Laces are for chumps

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? vanilla with chocolate or caramel topping

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their presence

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? the creeping crud currently covering my body! (eeew)

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Lately I have been thinking a lot about (and missing) my pseudo-Dad, Troy.


18. WHAT'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW?  I loathe listening to recorded "live" versions of songs

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? gray sweats and no shoes

20. FAVORITE SOUNDS: waves, children laughing (especially if the laughter was inspired by me), my fiance singing to one of his favorite songs when he thinks I'm not listening,  the strange almost silent sound of being underwater

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Interpol

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Screamin' Green (it's a real color!)

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? The ocean, clean laundry, cooking food, lilies, lavender,  a man right out of the shower

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mom

25. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? There's only one show I watch weekly ON tv and that's Glee. But 30 Rock is probably my FAVORITE... I think I laugh out loud more watching that show than any other media-type comedy I've ever watched!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I'm not crazy about watching sports at all but I can watch a soccer game and occasionally hockey

27. HAIR COLOR? browny

28. EYE COLOR? brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Right now I'm craving Mongolian BBQ every single day!

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Eagle Eye - and I was not incredibly impressed
 
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue with white letters

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. I would have summer all year long if I could

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Yes please

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?  I think these questions are for people making this into a chain letter deal.... Maybe Stacie will do it, too?

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? People who don't have a public blog? :)

39. BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "Living Dead in Dallas", from the book series that inspired "True Blood". It's a girly-smutty kind of book and I like it! :)

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? no mouse pad

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Nada - involved in the good books!

42. FAVORITE SONG(S): This changes every single day. Sometimes two or three times. Right now I'm going to say "Nosebleed Section" by Hilltop Hoods

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I've never actually measured. Probably Okinawa though

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I don't know about "talent" but my superhero power is finding the "bright side" of everything

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Redding, california

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Anyone who does it

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Kheri introduced us over the interwebs

A bad romance?

I have been thinking a little about the word romance. I think it means different things to different people. Of course most (if not all) women spend at least some of their lives wishing for romance. Usually what we sit around wishing for is of the, rose petals on the bed, climbing up trellaces and remembering our anniversary "chick flick" variety. I will admit that I have definitely sat around wishing that my life was a little more like a chick flick! Who wouldn't love to be whisked away for a romantic weekend on their anniversary? Or come home to a sweet home cooked meal complete with candles and Marvin Gaye in the background?

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I've got romance... it's just not exactly the kind I've been looking for! A few examples of this? How about going to my Mom's house on his day off to fix stuff around the house for her, because he knows how important my mom is to me. Or! How about selling tires and rims he's had for awhile, and instead of buying stuff for his boat (as I expected him to) buying me a new car stereo because mine has been on the fritz for a few months. And then getting up early before work so he can install it! Seriously - it's like a new kind of chick flick right here in my driveway!

I guess admitting this on a public forum means I will have to stop whining about the "other" kind of romance. Ya know, the rose petals and jewelry kind. Or maybe not... :)

Micro-brewery tastes on a Pabst budget...

So this weekend the wedding plans sort of came to a screeching halt. (Don't worry - I'm still madly in love with Bobby and we are doing fine!) It turns out I sort of have expensive taste - even when I'm trying to be "reasonable".  I sat down and actually wrote out our budget, and it turns out that while I was estimating all of this stuff we could afford... I forgot to factor in that I suck at math!!

I'm not really sure what I was thinking... But after the plane tickets and the rooms in Cozumel - I don't have nearly as much left over as I was thinking I would!

This surely doesn't mean that we're changing the plans completely. It just means that I have to tweak a few things, completely change a few things, and probably let a few things go. The first on the "to go" list will probably be my $900 dress. Back to the drawing board on that!

Oh well, the dress is important but not nearly as important as a few other things... Like the groom for instance! At least I still get to marry Bobby. And the people I love most will be there. (In fact, it seems like there are going to be LOTS of people we love coming!) Plus we still get to spend a week in paradise. Life could be a lot worse, eh? :-)

Speaking of inspiration....

The pictures from this wonderful weekend are awesome - all the ones of my sweet nephews. The ones of me, not so much! I'm off to the gym with my chubby self!!! :-)

Weekend with the nephews

Inspiration

I seem to have inspiration all around me lately.

Yesterday my friend (and future sister-in-law) Kheri ran in a triathlon! She has been running and biking and working out with a kettlebell. She looks amazing and seems to be really happy with it. Every time I see her I am inspired to get off my butt and DO SOMETHING. (Now if only I could find the SOMETHING that I could stick with for more than a few days I will be golden - more on that later).

While Kheri "swim bike run"ed... I got to hang out with my nephew all morning and some of the afternoon (because I volunteered to keep him so she could rest after the race). Talk about inspiration! This kid never fails to amaze me. He requires lots of attention and supervision but it never feels like work. He is smart and adorable and so sweet. (I wuvyoubye!) I know our children will LOOK nothing like this toeheaded nephew of mine, but I can certainly hope they will be as cute/fun/smart as him!

I am even feeling so inspired lately, I feel like being artistic! Yesterday I found a picture I drew a couple of years ago that was pretty cool. Now, I'm not a great artist. I took a drawing class and became maybe mediocre at best. But the picture was cool and I'd like to buy some oil pastels and continue with the idea!

And next month I get to do a "guest post" on my friend Stacie's blog. My first instinct was to write about sharks, but I will be kind and find a more appropriate topic. :)

Missing Hot Dog

I wasn't feeling like doing much when I got home last night, so I made us a hodgepodge for dinner. Left over mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, hot dogs, and I threw in a few fish sticks for Bobby in case the rest wasn't enough.

When I called Bobby in to eat "dinner" he was busy out in the garage with his motorcycle, so I just left his plate sitting on the counter and sat down to eat myself.

After we were done eating he looked at my plate and said, "Hey! You had bread? I didn't get bread!" I looked at him like he was a MORON and said, "Yeah you did. With your hotdog". He told me he didn't remember having a hotdog and I assured him that he had,and that he must have just snarfed it down so fast he didn't remember. We joked about him huffing too much paint in the garage and losing brain cells.

Right before I went to bed Bobby comes walking into our room with a soggy but uneaten hotdog bun in his hands! Where was it? Under the counter! One of our mangy mutts very delicately stole the hotdog off his plate (without disturbing anything else)!! And then I had the poor guy convinced he was just forgetful!!

Good thing he has a good sense of humor (and lots of other stuff to eat for dinner!)

Hamburger pie

I've been feeling pretty uncreative about food lately. In fact this week we've eaten out like 3 times, which is A LOT for us.

So today instead of making my good ole standby; tacos... I dug through my cookbooks looking for something different. I saw "hamburger pie", which looked pretty awesome in theory... But WHOA! when you look at the ingredients it's a little scary! Ground beef, mashed potatoes with butter and milk, canned everything, cheese... Just a little more than I could handle.

So I took the basic premise and reworked the recipe to suit me. It's got about 1/4 of the fat, 1/8 of the salt, and I even added a little nutritional value. I'm still going to call it "hamburger pie" even though it's pretty much completely different!

Ingredients:

1 lb lean ground turkey
6-8 medium sized gold potatoes (I used more and have leftover)
1/2 an onion (i used red, although I think any onion would work)
a few cloves of garlic
fresh peas, green beans, tomatoes.... anything else that sounds yummy to toss in
canned corn (i suppose you could use fresh corn too, but that sounds like a lot of work)
1/2 can cambell's tomato soup (i used the low sodium kind)

1 cup corn meal
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup wheat flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
dash salt
1 egg
1 cup milk (i used non fat)

Start with boiling the potatoes. While those boil, dice the onion and a clove or two of garlic -brown the turkey with it. When it's cooked add the 1/2 can of tomato soup and whatever veggies you're tossing in. (I also added some hot sauce at this point but don't think it's necessary) Set this mixture aside.

When the potatoes are soft drain them and put them into a bowl. Press a few fresh cloves of garlic into the hot potatoes then mash them a few times with a fork or a pastry blender (leave them pretty lumpy).

What I did next was mix the meat and potatoes together. But you could also layer them into a casserole dish; meat mixture on the bottom, then a layer of potatoes. I think it's just a question of style. :)

On top of my meat/potato mixture I sprinkled a teency bit of grated cheddar cheese.

Then mix the corn meal, flour, baking powder, salt, egg, and milk together and spoon in over the top of the casserole

Bake at 375 until the "crust" is golden brown (about 20-30 mins).

I just ate it for dinner and it's pretty darn tasty. I'm willing to bet my version is just as good (if not better!) than betty crocker's ridiculously unhealthy version!

Va-voom!

Yesterday I finally had the wedding dress shopping experience I've been hoping for. I actually had great customer service. Nobody called me fat. AND, I found the dress of my dreams... in my price range! What more could a girl ask for?!?

My friend (and one of the bridesmaids) Stacie took me to a place she'd been to in Lodi called Casa Gonzales. It's a teeny little shop owned by a mother and daughter. The daughter Sandra helped us out. She was pretty amazing. There were TONS of gowns for me to choose from (that fit me!), and after talking to me for only a short time she had a pretty excellent idea of what I might like and what would look good on me. She also stayed within my budget (which is pretty amazing from what I've heard about bridal shops).

I tried on 5 or 6 dresses and found two that I was really fond of. Then she put a dress in front of me and I said, "Hey, did I pick this one out?" and she laughed and said it wasn't one that I had picked out, it was one she thought I'd like. I put the dress on and stepped out in front of the mirror....

WHAM! I felt like a cross between Cinderella and Jessica Rabbit! Va-voom! I still can't believe it. I couldn't stop touching the bead work, or smoothing the dress down my curves! It is so perfect - it's completely unique, it's billowy and princessy, it's sexy, it's PERFECT!

I didn't have even the slightest desire to try any other dresses on. It's within the budget I set for myself (just barely) and it is SO my dress.

When I was finally able to tear my eyes away from the mirror and bring myself to take my dress off, I talked to Sandra about bridesmaid dresses and Stacie tried on a cute little number that goes beautifully with my dress and comes in the perfect colors! Now I just have to get my mom (when she's back from Hawaii) and Kheri (my other bridesmaid) to go out to Lodi with me (SOON) to see my gorgeous dress, and possibly our bridesmaids dresses!

House of... what?

 I went to the House of Fashion outlet today. The lady I talked to was rude and insulting. I will definitely be going somewhere else to get my dream dress. :)  Here's the yelp review I left for the house of jerks....

My experience at the House of Fashion Outlet was not good. I walked in without an appointment - totally understanding that I probably wasn't going to get a lot of attention from the employees there. What I did not expect was to be treated rudely, and insulted!

I followed the "come on up!" sign and walked upstairs and started browsing. A woman came out and asked me about my wedding date, and my dress size. When I told her that I was a 14 she wrinkled her nose, and said, "I don't have many in THAT size". She waved her hand at a small rack and informed me those were the only 16-18's that she had. I told her that I was a 14 in WEDDING dresses, and that I did not intend to get any bigger, laughing and sort of making a joke out of my discomfort. Then she made a comment about keeping at the diet and exercise and walked out of the room.

OKAY - I am aware that I am a big girl. But I do not expect to be treated poorly because of that... especially by a sales person in a store where I was intending to spend a few hundred dollars!!!

I went home and ate a salad. And tomorrow I will be taking my (and my bridesmaids... which will probably add up to over $1000 worth of business!) elsewhere!

Lean on Me

Did you know that the song "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers makes me cry every single time I hear it? It's true.

I was thinking about songs that matter to me. (Okay I'll admit it - it's because I was watching Glee... So what?!) Anyway "Lean on Me" is one of the big one. First off, it's one of the songs I remember my mom playing when I was a kid. Then when I was in Basic Training a girl named Hart... she had a heart-achingly beautiful voice (i commented once and she said, "Of course I can sing, Scott... Didn't yer mama tell you all black people can sing?" hehe then she laughed at me...) on really rough days, a few of us would sit in the "latrine" together at night and cry, and talk, and Hart would sing to us. She sang this song often.

It still means a lot to me. If I had a beautiful voice, it would be my signature ballad. I would sing it to the people I love.  Well I don't have what you (or probably anyone, haha!) would call a beautiful voice, but the sentiment is still there.

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on me...

A weekend of Lucas

Our baby nephew came for a visit this weekend while his parents hiked Half Dome in Yosemite.

He's a few months shy of his second birthday and the kid is amazing! He talks your ear off, he's potty training himself, he's a very good boy (of course he does have a stubborn streak, and his "testing my boundaries" moments), and I had a blast with him!

Chris and Kheri picked him up about 4 on Sunday and at first I was relieved to have a break, and be able to clean my house! But after about an hour my house was clean, I didn't feel tired anymore... And it was WAY too quiet here! His constant happy babble filled our house for two days and now that it's gone the house feels too empty!

He loves his uncle Bobby and every time we pulled into the driveway he said, "Oh Bobby house!" and when Bobby left for work he would say, "Oh Bobby? Bobby? Bobby?" several times throughout the day! He also loves uncle Bobby's motorcycle (although the sound of it scares him) and he wanted to look out the window and would say, "Bobby cycle!"

He also loved this picture and would give me my phone and say, "cycle me?" asking to see it.

We went to Macy's and Miz Miz bought him a cute new outfit.  It's a good thing we didn't stay very long, she may have bought the entire baby department! When we went grocery shopping later, I put him in the new outfit so I could take a picture for Miz.

At the store we were walking past the beer aisle and Lucas started saying, "Oh BEER!" very loudly! Several people gave me funny looks. I was cracking up. You can say something in front of this kid ONE TIME and he will remember it forever!

We didn't get to go to the pool party as I'd hoped, so instead we went outside and played in the sprinkler. I think he had fun anyway!

I actually have about 60 pictures from the weekend - I've restrained myself from posting them all! We had a nice weekend and although it was definitely tiring, I'm looking forward to September when we get to have BOTH of the nephews!

Dog days of summer...

Just a few cute pictures of the work goin' on with the boys.

"We ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti..."

Hehe don't they look like Hannibal Lecter? Poor guys. We've got them pretty used to their "cheese baskets". They know that when the baskets come out, cheese is soon to follow. They don't interact much with these one, but I guess we'll get there.

The other night I was tired and feeling pretty down about the doggy situation. After a quick walk with the boys, I gave up and came in the house. Bobby refused to give up. He put their "cheese baskets" on and stayed outside with them for about another hour. I looked out the window at one point and thought, "This is the kind of Dad my kids get to have" it was a nice thought. :)

A girly moment....

Please excuse me while I have a little squeely schoolgirl moment...

There's a movie coming out called "Guns Girls and Gambling".

Starring the best character actor on the planet Gary Oldman

And two of my favorite celebrity crushes, Christian Slater and Dane Cook; (This is them on the set for said movie... Look at that sexy squint!)

Also with Jeff Fahey from Lost

   

And True Blood cutie Sam Trammell

GIGGITY I don't even care what the movie's about - I will be there opening day! :)

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom." Anais Nin

The most difficult part of any exercise plan for me is always the first day. If I've had a long period of inertia (aka; being lazy) I have such a hard time changing THAT pattern! I can easily get up and clean my house, do laundry, make dinner... But taking a 30 minute walk, or digging the Jillian dvd out of the cabinet... for some reason it's just so tough for me!

In the same vein, it is also difficult for me to change the pattern of hiding in my house. I am wary of this pattern as it is indicative of depression... And still it happens to me on a regular basis! Sometimes I just enjoy being in my home (especially lately, because it's MY home and that is still new and exciting!) but sometimes I stay in because it is difficult for me to make that first step, to break my pattern.

I realized today that I am stuck in both of these unhealthy patterns! The sit-on-my-fat-butt pattern has been for a few weeks. The stay in my house has only been about a week, but still I feel it happening. I certainly don't want to be that girl. Ick! So how about we do something about it?

I got off my butt and took one of the dogs for a couple miles of walk. Up around our neighborhood and back into the nice 'hood behind us. I walked as fast as I could stand and worked up a pretty good sweat! When I got back I took the other dog out back and did lunges while playing fetch. Wow my legs are sore already!!

So now I will try to set a new pattern. Tomorrow maybe I will walk a little longer. Hopefully soon I can get my bike from my mom's house and I will continue to break out of my rut! What else can I do to break the pattern? I'll have to think of something I can get out of the house and DO (that is free)...

A little of the "rain"...

I have been trying to get up the oomph to post a blog about my beautiful blue cabinets, or the greenness of our backyard... But I'm a bit down this week and just can't bring myself to post a cheerful blog. Maybe next week.

But I decided that I called my blog "Sunshine - and rain" for a reason. So I'm going to share a little bit of the rain we've had this week.

In the month since we moved here we have been blissfully happy. We started coming together, feeling like a family (yes, us and our dogs is a family!) And we even started to work some of the kinks out of our relationship. Things definitely haven't always been running smoothly, but we were ironing them out, and feeling very good about it. Living together in the moments we had, and eagerly looking towards the future. Okay, that part has not changed at all - we've just had a hiccup because the comfort of our home has been disrupted!

On Sunday night our dogs started fighting - violently! We tried together (and sometimes at contention with each other) for two days to fix the problem, and stop them from fighting... To no avail. On Monday night they fought and Ledger AND Bobby got hurt. Don't worry Bobby is okay! (Ledger is too). But we realized at that point that whatever was going on was beyond our abilities to fix.

I realize that most people at this point would just find a new home for Ledger (the new dog) and stop whining about it. And we did discuss that option. But ultimately what we decided is that that is not the kind of people we want to be. We chose to bring Ledger into our home, and we are not just going to discard him -  as I said earlier, we feel like this is our family! 

Our vet suggested a Behavior Specialist at UC Davis and we've got an appointment with them next Wednesday. Did you know that there's a credit card you can get, that is specifically for expensive Vet bills? It's no interest for 18 months. THANK GOD for it, because it's the only way we were able to make the decision to see the specialist!

For now life is sort of tense in our house. The dogs have to be separated constantly, and playing "musical dogs" means that Bobby and I spend more time in different rooms than usual - but we are managing. We've decided that tonight we will have a (very cheap!) date night and spend some time together.

Bobby was making a video of the dogs playing together the last time they fought. I figured I'd share it, because... Why not? Maybe someone can watch it and catch something we missed? Any info we can give the behavior specialist is helpful! :)

"I'm a lean mean ground beef machine! " - Meatwad

My friend Stacie (over at One step at a time) tells me that I don't blog enough. So I thought I'd post a quick (and triumphant!) blog about my dinner tonight!

I came  home thinking I would just make some quick pasta with turkey burger scrunched in it. I was looking at the turkey burger and thinking "blah", so I decided to try my hand at making meatballs (which I had never done before)!

Of course I didn't look at any recipes, but just started tossing stuff together. I was feeling a little nervous when I popped them in the oven. (Is that how you're supposed to do it?!)

But they were looking pretty good when I took 'em out! After I added sauce and linguini they were looking mighty tasty! 

Bobby said they were super moist, and he ate his plus a few off of my plate - so I'm calling them a success!

kitcheny goodness

I know I am way behind on house/family updates. There's just so much to do! Blogging has sort of taken a backseat to... just about everything!

This morning after my trip to the Farmer's Market, I was running around my kitchen doing twenty things at once - and I just had to stop for a moment and appreciate MY kitchen. It's really quite wonderful.  Not just because it's mine, but because it is actually becoming MINE. With my touches and personality, even my favorite things to eat! :)

Here is my favorite part of my house right now;

 (What you can't see is that on the other side of the kitchen I've got EVERY pot and pan I own in use attempting to make my first batch of homemade gnocchi!)

Father's Day - Part I

Mom,

We both know that nobody's childhood is perfect. We've spent a lot of time talking about the imperfections. But I wanted you to know that when I think of my childhood, I have more good memories than bad. And as an adult, I don't think I'm too effed up! In fact, I'm doing pretty good. I'm not sure, but I think that makes you a success as a parent. :)

I was going to write a post about Troy for father's day. About him being the best Dad I ever had. It's true that Troy's part in my life was very special. I liked to call him my pseudo-Dad. (Still do). But the more I thought about it, the more inaccurate it seems to call him "the BEST".

There's only one person in my life that really deserves any "BEST" parent title. I usually call her Mom. But she's played so many roles in my life that it doesn't really matter which title I give it - Mom, Dad, best friend, nurse, counselor...

Mom - you've been all of those things and more for 28 years and counting. I just want to say thank you. And happy Father's Day!

New Directions Choir

Stacie - this is for you. They were on "America's Got Talent" tonight. It's a choir consisting of veterans that were homeless at one point. Their message is, "It's okay for a warrior to ask for help".

http://www.newdirectionsinc.org/about_choir.html

Keys, cockroaches, and miracles...

On Thursday I called my friend Kheri and told her that I thought I was having a series of really terrible days in order to contrast the next few weeks, which I am positive will just be fantastic!

On Friday I went after work and got the keys to MY house.

Today started early with Miz and me hitting the road for some serious house preparations; cleaning supplies, appliances, and all kinds of odds and ends.

We don't have any appliances, but in this great little community we've got all you have to do is ask and stuff starts falling out of the sky. We've got free dishwasher, and a dryer just waiting for us to pick them up. We're getting a good deal on a stove from a friend. So our first mission of the day was a refrigerator, and a washer. We drove all over Sacramento looking at used appliance stores. The first place was a tiny little warehouse with NO prices on anything, and a woman following you around screeching super ridiculous prices at you! We found one waaaaay out on Auburn that looked very promising. Reasonable prices, good customer service, a good warranty... I was feeling pretty good until I opened up a fridge to have a look - and a cockroach came crawling towards me!! Eeeeeew! Well... That was it for used appliances for me. There's no way I'm taking the chance of a roach infestation! We hightailed it outta that place quickly!

After being turned down for credit at Lowe's I was freaking out a little bit (okay, a LOT a bit...) about what were going to do to keep our food cold and our clothes clean! I sat and worked and re-worked money figures for about an hour. I gave up after the acid in my stomach started being a bit uncomfortable and went to pack.

That was when something pretty miraculous happened. Kelly (my pseudo-dad's widow, and someone I consider extended family they just haven't invented a name for yet) texted me to ask if we'd gotten a fridge yet. I told her that we hadn't but I was working on making some kind of magic happen. She asked if she could help with the magic, and I told her that I would LOVE some help! (I am SO not too proud to accept help from people who love me!) So... I was thinking she'd send a Lowe's gift card for $100 or so - which we would have been SO grateful for! But that's not what she had in mind... She said that she would pay for our fridge up to $1000 - and whatever we didn't spend on the fridge she would just be sending us in the mail.

Then she called and told me how proud she was of me, how proud Troy (pseudo-dad) would be of me, and how much he loved me... And how he would have wanted to help me have nice (roach free) things. :) And  lots of other great stuff that made me cry (in a really nice way).

So our fridge is taken care of. And a ton of other stuff I just won't have to stress over now. I am simply amazed. When I start to think about it words fail me and I get a little choked up. I am very grateful. 

Bobby and I headed over there this evening to start cleaning and prepping the house to be lived in. It's lots of hard work but I am so ecstatic because it is OUR hard work - by us and for us.

I will post pictures of our (mostly Bobby's) handywork when we're close to finished!

A New Baby??

So today is the day that all the fixes are supposed to be done on our new house. I am not completely sure what happens next - I'm waiting to hear. Hopefully what happens next is that I go sign my life away and get some keys!

In the meantime I have a bit of a quandary.... A few weeks ago Hurley and I met this little guy at Pupply Love:

His name is Ledger. He's a Belgain Mallinois. He and Hurley absolutely adore each other. He's a year old, a complete GOOFBALL, and pretty much Hurley's soulmate.

So... We were planning on getting Hurley a friend when we moved to our new place. And we've been given the green light from the Mallinois rescue- Ledger is ours if we want him.

My hesitance is completely superficial. He's a super sweet dog, he snuggles, he plays amazingly well with Hurley, he even gets along with cats! ... But he is not as CUTE as Hurley. And he sheds quite a bit more. Would that keep me from loving him as much?

I think I might be having this kind of hesitation no matter who we adopted.

Happy Birthday, Hurley!

On July 14, 2008 Bobby and I drove up to Grass Valley to pick up this sweet little 2 month old ball of black fluff!!

His crate was about 8 times too big for him, and he threw up in it on the way home!

Several times in his marauding, chewing, biting, rambunctious puppy-hood, murder crossed my mind!

And poor Miz has very nearly lost her mind with all the destruction, dirt, and fur in her house!!

Bobby and I have learned lots about co-parenting with our little "practice kid".

These days he is more like tiny little black hurricane than a ball of fluff!

And not a single one of us even wants to imagine our lives without him! Happy Birthday little Hurls!

I really need to write a book...

Today we were playing Mad Libs with one of our clients. He was having a blast giving us nouns like "turtle", adjectives like "poopy" and silly words like "Poopsaraptor". When he was asked for a body part, he said without hesitation, "Heart! That's what we love with!"

Oh man, sometimes my job is so cool!

Blanche's "maiden" voyage!

My Mom took a little video of the first ride with my new bike (Blanche*) and Hurley. We need a little practice - Hurley still thinks HE is steering - but I think it's going to be a really great thing!


*I've decided to name my bike Blanche, after the lady on The Golden Girls. She's old, she's been ridden by many many people, but she's still kinda pretty. :) 

We're in escrow!

So... Barring any complications, we've got our house! It's a cute little place in "Freeport Manor". It's a small place with a huge backyard, in a nice little old neighborhood. I am very happy with it!

So girls... your mission, should you choose it accept it: look at the pictures and be thinking of paint colors and other INEXPENSIVE ways to make it PREEETTY!

"New" bike!

Here is the finished product! I am so excited to ride it, and of course the weather is yucky! As soon as the sun peaks his head out from behind the clouds, Hurley and I are off!

Let's go ride bikes!

I have had this really old Schwinn sitting in the backyard collecting rust and spiderwebs for quite some time. A few weeks ago I found a contraption on ebay that hooks up to your bike, and walks your dog! It's supposed to be very safe for dog and rider, and what a great way to kill two birds with one stone! I get some exercise, and Hurley gets a great walk in! So I shelled out $20 and ordered it.

Then I told Bobby I need him to make my bike GO.  I figured some new tires and a quick spray with the hose would do. I'm not picky. So one day last week he comes home with new tires and tubes, grease for my chain, and new grips for my handlebars. I was so excited!

Last night when he got home I asked him if we could put all the new stuff on my bike. He went outside to disassemble and then reassemble my bike, and I flew off to the grocery store to get BBQ ingredients.

We had discussed repainting it and doing a few other aesthetic things to it, but hadn't really gotten there yet. I told him that I'd be happy with black primer for now, to get rid of the rust and everything. When I got home that sweet man was out in the backyard covered in dirt and grease, sanding the bike frame down and preparing to primer it!

I wish I had taken a complete before" picture - but this will have to do... It's not done yet (it got dark before we could finish) but it's well on it's way to being a working (even nice looking!) bike!  I will for sure post complete "after" pictures!

I had to tell Bobby to stop because it was dark - he would've kept working well into the night!

Smoothies!

I made us fruit smoothies for dessert tonight. Bobby had a little accident with his.

But that's okay, Hurley will be glad to help with that!

Ha ha Eeeeeeew! It looks like they're making out! :-)

Catching up part 2 - Easter with the nephews!

We got to have the nephews for Easter this year. Easter really just isn't the same without kids, so I was very excited planning Easter egg hunts, dying eggs, Easter "brunch"...  Okay I had one 9 year old, and a 16 month old so maybe I went a little crazy - but we still had lots of fun! Thanks to my sweet nephew Hunter for humoring me and being a great kid all day! He found all the plastic "eggs" we hid, saying cute stuff like, "Wow, that was clever" when he found one that was hidden particularly well.  Even when his little brother started not feeling well, Hunter just sat down and entertained himself!

Catching up - Birthday Awesomeness!

Yes, it was a couple of weeks ago... I'm a lazy blogger!

My 28th birthday was fantastic! The day of my actual birthday I had to go to work. But it wasn't too bad, because I made sure I was scheduled in a way that would make it a pleasant day. I got sweet little hugs and twice had very cute little boys sing me happy birthday. In the morning I even got a phone call from one of my favorite little boys in the whole world, who lives in Oregon!

After work some very sweet friends took me to dinner at Chevy's!

Then on Saturday came the party and Bobby and Kheri worked so hard to plan for me. We had dinner at the Kasbah lounge - with great food and a belly dancer! Lots of fun! The week after I was craving Mediterranean food and went crazy at the grocery store buying Greek yogurt and hummus and pitas!  Unfortunately, none of us were smart enough to bring a camera! I took a picture of myself when we got home, just to make sure the night was documented somehow! (The pretty necklace I'm wearing was a birthday present!)

Think happy thoughts!

So far the house hunt has been pretty awful. We all know that I'm second only to Polyanna herself in playing the "Glad Game"... But even I have been hard pressed to find anything to be glad about with 9 out of 10 of the homes I've looked at so far! Yeah, that's bad!

This weekend was a little better. We only looked at 8 places (as opposed to the 37 the week before!) but I liked 3 of them! We are putting offers on two of them.

The one I'm in love with (and I am trying SO hard not to get my hopes up too much!) is in old Elk Grove. It's definitely a fixer-upper, but it's in the perfect neighborhood, and it's reeeeeally cute! It's got a huge backyard, a place for a little garden... I am hoping pretty hard!

Happy 33rd Bobby!

Tomorrow is Bobby's 33rd Birthday. With work and school, we won't be able to celebrate it tomorrow - so we went to Logan's Steakhouse tonight to celebrate!

Bobby got to have a big ole steak!

And a big ole beer!

And they brought him this cute lil' Happy Birthday treat! (No ridiculous singing involved!)

Aaaah we are both so full we can barely move!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBY!!

Sleeping Beauties

This is what happens when I get up early...

 

Clearly, Bobby does not care too much about the "no dog on pillows" rule this morning. :)

The House Hunt

I haven't made a post about the house hunt in quite a while because frankly, I have not seen much that I found inspiring! We have looked at a lot of places DEEP in the ghetto... And a lot of places that are just completely trashed!
Last week Mom and I saw one place that we both liked quite a bit. Right off I liked it because it has a red door! 

I was unsure because of the neighborhood. But the backyard is HUGE, the kitchen is pretty awesome (There's room for Bobby to put in an island for me, someday!) and the rest of the house has lots of potential!

 

So, after a little more research on the neighborhood (There's a bit of crime in the area, but that happens everywhere!) and a number of drivebys on the house and area (one at night, with Bobby) we've decided to put an offer on it! 

So we'll see what happens!